i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
