Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Randomize
