I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
