So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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