just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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