Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Randomize
