mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
