Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
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