I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
