hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Randomize
