All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
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