I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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