sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
