I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
