I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
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