I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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