I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
she pinky promised me she was 18
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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