Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
My balls are so social today.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
