in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
