You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
