Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Well I just put wine in my tea
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
