you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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