problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
