I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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