It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
