All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Randomize
