I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
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