At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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