lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
