i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
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