I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
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he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
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Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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