Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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