I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I wear drunk well.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
