I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
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I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
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the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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