Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize