That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
