I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
