Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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