you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Randomize
