I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
one two three fourrrrnication!
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
