First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
as a side note pls kill me
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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