shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
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