I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
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