hotel room ftw
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
