She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
