My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
