Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Barsexuality is the new black.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
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