dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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