both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Cover your peen. We're going out.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
