Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
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