No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
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