the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
You left your phone here
Wait...
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