I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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