whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Your penis caused this!
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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