Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
