and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
