it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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