she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
