I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
