They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
Randomize
