as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
