i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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