You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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